Sorrow & Faith

"There is no sorrow on earth that Heaven cannot heal."

I've heard this quote before but can't place exactly who it should be attributed to. It's particularly poignant to me given the circumstances of the past week or two. There are so many different sorrows that we face here on earth, but they all share one thing in common - profound, heart-wrenching and deeply felt sorrow affects everything. No matter the exact details, sorrow impacts everything it touches. Vibrant sunsets lose their shine. Favorite foods taste dull. Hobbies lose their appeal.

While heaven can in fact heal every earthly sorrow, its not an immediate band-aid fix; at least not in my experience. That's where faith steps in. Faith believes that someday things will be better again once the sorrows subside. Faith believes that heaven's fix will restore the sunset's luster and food's flavor. Faith, while appearing to some to be silly, believes in a future that doesn't feel possible.

It's easy to claim that you have faith. But you won't know how much faith you have until its tested. When you stand before God with a heart full of sorrows and say "Can you fix this, Lord?" That's when you know the extent of your faith and the full extent of God's faithfulness.

I have no idea how the current circumstances that I'm in will work themselves out. But I stand now before God asking Him "Can you fix this?"

The Pirates That Don't Do Anything

This weekend we decided to try something new - we went out to the movies as a family. Given that our youngest is only 3, this has been very risky in the past. The last time we tried, we took the kids to go see Cars when it was in the theatre - complete disaster. My husband missed the last fifteen to twenty minutes of the movie walking a stir-crazy two-year-old up and down the halls.

But, she's older now we argued and we wanted to do something special for our son. He had an entire week of green-card days last week (meaning he was good at school and didn't get fussed at for talking) and he deserved a little reward. Going out to eat doesn't mean much to a Kindergartner and Mr. Biggs is both expensive and induces mild anxiety in me and hives in my husband. (It's truly a fun place to go if your kids are older, but at 3 & 6 too many older children run unsupervised and there's too large of a kidnapping risk.) Being that its still winter here, outdoor activities are out of the question, so we weren't left with many options that are appealing to kids.

Luckily, however, we hadn't seen the new Veggie Tales movie, The Pirates That Don't Do Anything. We LOVED it! These pirates have been side characters now for years and it was fun to watch them produce a feature-length film focused on them. While the faith message was a bit subdued in the film, it was still present. And it was really good for the kids to see the characters develop discipline and a work ethic as the movie played on...and to see those changes rewarded in the end (slight spoiler, but not really.)

The movie theatre we went to had a well-stocked snack bar, so we were able to let the kids split a pizza and a coke in their seats which may have contributed to their ability to sit still for a full movie. At any rate, however, I'm not complaining - it was nice. This is definitely a movie you should see, though it would be just as good of a home purchase or rental. There aren't any huge special effects or anything to warrant a $10 ticket purchase (unless you're celebrating something.)

As for the film itself - these guys have seriously improved their animation skills in recent months. The animated water was EXCELLENT and the texturing, lighting, etc. really appeared much more lifelike than past videos. Kudos, guys! And the soundtrack rocked! Kurt Heineke outdid himself this time...if I ever see the soundtrack in stores, I will probably either buy it or download it from iTunes.

As for my kids, they're now walking around the house quoting the movie. My son now has faux labor-saving-devices and says that anything he's scared of is "on his list." I guess that's the best sign they liked it - and I don't have to worry about what he's quoting or imitating.

Accepting failure without admitting defeat

If you've read this blog for any length of time at all, you know that today was weigh in day. Despite have a dismal week this week, I dutifully weighed in knowing that the results would not be good. Still, I wanted to get back on track and that meant surveying the damage. Well...I gained this week. And as any dieter will tell you, gaining weight (even when you've had a bad week) is really, really discouraging.

So...the question of the day is "how do you accept failure without admitting defeat?" The key here is to get back on track and do the best job I can - for today. Hitting all of my dietary and excercise goals - for today. And yet, even though I know what needs to happen, my brain is having a hard time communicating that to my heart. I'll be brutally honest - I'm discouraged. Yes, I ate more points than I was allotted. Yes, I didn't work out this weekend (despite the fact that I have a good excuse.) But somehow I still expected that scale to go down. Irrational - I know.

There are several really good reasons why the weight is slow in coming off. I have really good explanations for why I went over my point values this week. But in the end tally none of that matters. The reasons...the rationales...even if they're completely true (and they are) the scale still went up.

The only distinction I can think of between accepting failure and admitting defeat is your resolve to get back on the proverbial horse and be willing to try again...and again...and again. Truthfully, I've given up on hitting my goal weight by summer. Realistically, I'll be lucky to hit my goal weight in this calendar year. I'm just resolved to keep trying...even if it means beating my head bloody against this brick wall.

Pro Life Hollywood?

I know...this sounds like an oxymoron. Believe me, I know. But, I just read a blog entry that supports that very assertation. You really should check it out.

Now of the six movies that are listed in this blog, I've only seen one of them - Knocked Up. And I must admit how surprised I was by the pro-life themes woven subtly throughout the movie. While graphic and admittedly quite vulgar, the main character (played by Katherine Heigl of Grey's Anatomy) steps up in a big way when she winds up unexpectedly pregnant. Not only does she choose to keep the baby, she also chooses to establish a relationship with the baby's pot-smoking, porn-watching idiot father. And...over time, he too steps up and cleans up his act before the baby arrives.

It was quite different from all of the pro-choice political jockeying and monologuing that usually comes from Hollywood's stars and starlets. But...as the point is made in this blog, Abortion is neither sexy nor heroic - its killing an innocent, defenseless baby. How are you supposed to defend that in film? Simply put - you couldn't. Not in a film that the public would actually want to see and pay $10 to see it.

Too often, our society tends to gloss over the real facts of pregnancy and instead allows women (and men, too) to make decisions that appear to make sense in the short run without any consideration for the long-term implications (death for the baby and profound medical and mental risks and complications for the mother.)

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

Well, I finally got the chance to go see National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets recently. It's been out nearly a month and I've only recently managed to find the opportunity to go see it. I think life is way too busy when it takes four weeks to find two hours of relaxation. But I digress.

I really enjoyed this movie. If you enjoyed the original National Treasure you should definitely see this movie. It's even a movie that I'd recommend paying $9 for a theatre seat. Just like the original, Ben Gates, Riley Toole and Abigail Chase are hunting down treasure. Only this time they're joined by Ben's parents, Patrick and Emily, as the trio seeks to exonerate Ben's ancestor who has recently been accussed of masterminding the Lincoln assassination.

As one would expect, there are more than a few similiarities between the original and the sequel, but it doesn't detract from what is at its core an entertaining movie for the whole family that doesn't stoop to debauchery, foul language or gore for its laughs. There are Indiana Jones-esque scenes that capture younger audiences as well as high-brow humor for history and policital buffs. Simply put - there's something for everyone.

Heath Ledger (1979-2008)

Heath Ledger was found dead today in his Manhattan apartment. Apparantly he died of a drug overdose. How sad. (click here for MSNBC's coverage). Joining the ranks of other gone-too-soon Hollywood stars and starlets, Heath will probably make headlines for several days and then be a trivia question for future game show contestants.

I personally enjoyed his performances in The Patriot, A Knight's Tale and 10 Things I Hate About You. But I think The Patriot has to be my favorite. His character, Gabriel, is desperately trying to find his way in the world, hoping to have his father's blessings, but ready to make his way in the world with or without it. His character had conviction which is sadly lacking today - even in Hollywood.

Weight Watchers Weigh In

(*sigh*) Weigh in day. You either love it or hate it. Me, personally, I vascillate frequently between loving it and hating it. Despite having stayed on-plan all week, I lost a measly.5 pounds. While you would be correct in stating 'well, at least you lost weight this week', its still a supreme discouragement. Unfortunately, this go-round my insulin resistance is making this a long, arduous journey.

I did fine all week long, however, it was time to adjust my Glucophage dosage on Friday and that threw everything into turmoil all day Friday and Saturday. I was at home all day Friday, so that made things somewhat easier, however, we had errands to run on Saturday and that threw things all askew. We didn't have lunch until 2:30 and by then my sugars crashed and I was loopy. The medicine clearly warns you not to skip meals with this medication, however, it neglected to mention that delaying one can be bad, too. I didn't feel well for the rest of the day.

Then Sunday came. We went out to eat as Casa Grande in Woodland Park after church with some other members. Unfortunately, its difficult (if not impossible) to eat healthy at a Mexican restaurant. I did the sensible thing and ordered a Chicken Fajita Taco Salad without the crispy bowl (the best part, IMO), without sour cream and without guacamole (also wonderful additions IMO). Basically it was grilled chicken, lettuce, peppers and onions with a small smattering of cheese with salsa as a dressing. Impossible to count points, but the best I could do in the situation.

All of that brings me to today's results. I've now lost 3.8 pounds in about four weeks. Respectable, I guess, but far less than I'd like. At this rate, I'll hit my goal weight in 2009 if I'm lucky.

Baby it's COLD outside

We've been experiencing some really nasty cold temperatures these days. Seriously. The low temperature this evening is supposed to be 3 degrees - and that's Farenheit! Sorry I haven't posted, but I've been busy trying to stay warm.

The kids got to experience their first (that they can remember) Starbucks trip on Wednesday, because it was just that cold. Jackson got a Latte and the kids had children's hot cocoa's. They really loved it. :) AND...I discovered that Starbucks has skinny lattes! You can get a Skinny cinnamon dulche latte for only 90 calories. The only WW points involved are for the milk that you're drinking - and it's SKIM. :) Woo Hoo. Can you tell I'm excited people? Plus...as an added benefit the syrup is also available sugar-free which really helps me out these days.

I have wonderful pictures of the kids that I'll be happy to email anyone who is interested. Just email me and I'll send them. They're really cute. I'm feeling a Starbucks-themed Scrapbook page coming on...

Is Customer Service Extinct?

My family and I went shopping last night and enjoyed an evening out and about. It was really a good evening - not too cold, very bright and clear. In all we went out to eat, to a few stores and to return a video we'd rented. In visiting these stores, however, we got a mini-study in customer service that was very enlightening.

The first restaurant we visited was Fatburger on N. Academy. I was really craving a burger last night and since I really shouldn't eat that, I could opt for a Veggie Burger at Fatburger that is a reasonable substitution. Unfortunately, Mondays are buy-one-burger-get-one-free nights and they'd already sold out. Big Bummer! So, we decided to eat at the deli next door believing I could eat healthily there, too. The manager followed us to the door, apologizing for their outage and offered us a free veggie burger the next time we visit. I felt valued. Even though they were temporarily out of what I needed, I felt that my business was important to them - and I WILL go back because of it.

After we ate dinner at the deli, I walked a few doors down to a scrapbooking store that shall remain nameless. I love this store and it was a treat to go. The kids quickly misbehaved, however, so my darling hubby took them to the car so I could shop for a bit. I wanted to look specifically at the Sizzix dies but I had some questions. So, I looked for a clerk. Moments ago there were three of them but now there was only one. So I waited - patiently at first - while the lone clerk rang up someone's purchases. They took their sweet time going through the transaction having a leisurely conversation about Christmas, Orlando vacations and home-based businesses. Then my patience paid off - 10 minutes later - the transaction was done...but they continued to talk. Their conversation switched to a clearly personal nature and kept going. The customer's daughter wandered off skating about the store in her Heeley's (have I mentioned how much I hate those things?) while her mother continued jabbing on about who knows what.

My husband finally came in after 15-20 minutes and needed relief. While he didn't want to pull me away, the kids were driving him nuts cooped up in a car. I put down the items I'd collected and left. The clerk never acknowledged me despite the fact that I was less than 10 feet away the entire time.

As we were pulling away a second clerk emerged from the back, but it was too little too late for me. I was livid! I still am, in fact. Apparantly customer service is now extinct unless you own the business, are in management or get a commission. Hourly employees really don't seem to care...and the real shame is that everyone loses in that scenario - the customer (I didn't get to buy anything), the manager (she lost between $50-75 worth of business) and the employee (who'll eventually be out of work if the store can't turn a profit.)

WW Weigh In - 3.3 pounds gone!

Since Christmas, I've re-dedicated my efforts towards eating healthy and losing weight. Though complicated by my insulin resistance, the Weight Watchers program still works well. The insulin resistance, however, keeps my losses much more modest. They are, however, still losses.

I just weighed in this morning and my losses since Christmas total 3.3 pounds! Its difficult to remain committed with such modest losses, however, its still good to see the numbers going down instead of up. I can already feel a difference, so now I'm waiting to see a difference.

My darling husband just purchased a stationary bike for me, so that will definitely help keep things headed in the right direction. When things get warmer (April/May), I should be able to do some walking, however, with temperatures in the teens and twenties, I'm not readily able to excercize like that. The stationary bike should solve that problem, though, and help keep my activity levels up all year round.

Back to Cropping!

My wonderful husband actually took pity on me and watched the kids for a few hours on Saturday and a few hours on Sunday so that I could crop again. It's been a while since I've been able to crop and I haven't been able to really crop since we moved to Colorado. So, it was wonderfully refreshing!

I was able to finish two full layouts (sans journaling) this weekend. One that was focused on my daughter and one focused on my son. When I finally get a digital camera (hopefully soon but no promises) I'll share pictures of my pages, however, since I crop on 12"x12" paper it won't fit on my scanner.

Suffice it to say, however, my creative funny-bone got tickled and I've been bitten by the cropping bug yet again. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to find a little time every weekend, but that seems a bit unrealistic given our crazy schedules. I'll just settle for some semi-regular time for now, I guess.

"Because I Said So..."

Growing up, I lamented the use of this phrase. It seemed like a parental cop-out to me. Something to be used when there was no real reason to justify the matter at hand. As a parent, however, I'm now started to re-think my position on this.

It all started when I watched the movie, Because I Said So, recently (if you haven't watched it yet, you should - its great.) That got me thinking about the phrase on and off for the past several days. Ultimately, however, I really reached an epiphany during a standoff with my kids over cleaning up their playroom. That was when it hit me - "Because I Said So" isn't a cop-out; its reinforcing the role of parent and establishing respect from your children.

If I tell my children they should do something "because I said so" they should do it (within reason) just because I'm the parent and they're the children. It's an extension of the Bible verse "Children Obey Your Parents..." So while I won't be overusing the phrase, I do think it'll become a part of my vocabulary. :) After all, God also exhorts parents to "not provoke their children unto wrath..." too.

Do 'crisis' really come in threes?

...because if they do we're in trouble. Jackson had an accident Monday night. We were in the midst of a snowstorm and while stopped at a red light he was rear-ended by a cab driver that simply couldn't stop in time. Thankfully there was only minor damage done to the car and all of the people involved walked away without a scratch. And since the driver is a commercial driver, there's a better-than-average chance of getting the SUV repaired by their insurance without incident.

So, in the grand scheme of things this could've been alot worse. Having said that, however, between Kate's bout with a Penny and Jackson's accident, I'm ready for a bit of quiet in the Douglas household. That brings me to the original question, however, - do bad things really happen in threes? I thank God that both of these incidents were minor - they both could've been significantly worse, however, is it too much to ask for a few quiet "normal" days?

Here's hoping that 2008, which has come in like a lion, will go out like a lamb...and start getting quieter from here.

Weight Watchers Weigh In (*sigh*)

Okay...now I have another reason to hate Mondays (as if I needed another one). Monday's are weigh in days and so far the news has been depressing and distressing. To be fair, all of our holiday travel was not conducive to watching your diet, however, I still long to wear the size 12 jeans of yester-year.

Today's weigh-in actually brought good news. Despite all of the stress and harried eating of last week, I was able to lose 9/10 of a pound. Small progress to be sure, but progress nonetheless - I'll take it! This week should be much, much better. I've made a comprehensive grocery run that was full of good-for-you dairy, meats, fruits and veggies and I mostly was able to avoid those bad-for-you middle isles.

I've got good things planned for this week; potato soup, red pepper turkey panini's, bruschetta, chicken pot pie, cashew chicken, hamburger-mushroom pizza - and more! All while sticking to the Weight Watchers plan. I even found some 100 calories packs of cookies for desert! That way, I can eat cookies too while the rest of my family works to polish off the remaining Christmas goodies.

Surprise! It's a Snowy Sunday

We woke up this morning to thick, white blanket of snow and heavy snow showers and quickly discovered that the entire Pikes Peak region had been 'blessed (?)' with a surprise snow storm that dumped between 1 1/2 - 3 inches of snow in an hour. Roads were, of course, a mess and reporters were blathering on about accident alerts and defensive driving. Meanwhile, I was prepared to enjoy the show with a mug of hot cocoa and warm sheets that were calling my name. After all our daughter is still complaining of a sore throat from this week's adventure with a penny and the mountain pass was sure to be treacherous. My husband, however, was bound and determined to attend church this morning.

You see, we're part of a church start in Woodland Park - North Peak Community Center - and we teach Sunday School for the 3-7 year olds. And this was a big week. This was the first Sunday where we'll begin meeting regularly every Sunday. Still, I reasoned that it'd be best to do church at home today given the road conditions and Kathryn's lingering sore throat. She shouldn't be out in the weather and I had serious concerns about the passability of the highway up the mountain. Jackson, however, insisted on going - after all, he reasoned, we have 4WD capabilities on our Xterra.

It all brought about a rather fascinating discussion on how we define church and what our heart is towards ministry. I'm afraid that I fall into a bit of a post-modern mindset in this regard in that I lean more towards a first-century definition of the church - where church members met in each other's houses and knew the intimate details of one another's lives. Today's church tends to be much too corporate for my tastes, offering up spiritual cardboard and pretending its steak.

Wouldn't you far rather minister to the people in your life, both Christian and non-Christian, in a personal, intimate way than simply inviting them to a corporate worship service that more closely resembles a concert? I truly do believe it to be far more effective. I'm much more at ease ministering to someone by doing their laundry while they're ill or bringing them a meal after they've had surgery than by singing in front of people, playing some instrument (I don't) or reading a lesson out of a Sunday School curriculum. And truthfully, which do you remember more - someone helping you out when you really needed it or last month's sermon?

Too much Christmas???

Is it really possible to get too much Christmas? I didn't use to think so, but this year is challenging my thoughts on that.

We were gone for about 12 days this Christmas, traveling far and wide to visit various family members. It was truly a joy. It had been about a year since we'd seen some folks and we'd been looking forward to the trip for several months. We logged in about 35 hours traveling by car and about 8 hours in airports/airplanes - and it was 100% worth it!

Our transition back to "reality", however, has been a bit difficult this year. The kids got very used to being spoiled and are having a tough time re-adjusting to life with rules and schedules. I suppose that its more a function of their age (6 and 3) than anything, but its enough to make even the most patient parent want to run from the building screaming. :)

In the midst of this transition, I'm finding that my kids actually need a schedule even more than I do - which really surprised me. My son is actually looking forward to returning to school next week. I'm seriously thinking about putting the kids (and by extension, myself) on a more rigorous schedule if at all possible. I recall 8pm bedtimes and right now we're doing good to get the kids in bed by 8:30 or 9.

Right now, the kids sleep in their separate rooms on weeknights and in my son's bunk beds on weekends as a special treat. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get them to both sleep in their separate rooms regularly and without argument? We bought our daughter a new twin-"big girl" bed thinking that would help, but it really hasn't.

Ideas?

A Penny Saved is NOT a Penny Earned

Okay. So yesterday mid-afternoon, my daughter comes to me, fingers down her throat telling me that her throat hurts. This is, to say the least, unusual behavior so I start to ask her some more questions. "Where does your throat hurt?" Right here, mommy (she points to the bottom of her neck.) I can't get the penny out. (???) "What penny", I ask? The one I swallowed...and I can't get it out. Of course, by this time she's upset that she's lost her penny and I'm half-expecting this penny to get stuck and have her turning blue at a moment's notice.

A few quick calls to the doctors and the med-stop clinic later and we're on our way, guns blazing, to Penrose Hospital. Within 15 minutes (I couldn't believe we got in that fast) we were back in a bed waiting for the doctor. Xrays quickly confirmed that she had indeed swallowed a coin and it was at the base of her esophogaus. Surgery would be required to extract it! Yikes!

It's at this point that we discover we have two nearly dead cell phones. (Can it get any worse?) So we made two quick calls to the grandparents and made arrangements for our son, while the doctors tried to determine if a general pediatric surgeon could do the extraction or if a pediatric specialist would be needed. If so, we would probably need to drive to Denver.

Thankfully, a general pediatric surgeon could handle it and we were promptly transferred to Memorial's Children's Hospital across town, where they tried (unsuccessfully) to remove the coin. Thankfully, however, it moved so that it is no longer blocking either the esophagus or the stomach, so time will heal everything.

Needless to say, however, it was an incredibly long night/early morning for all of us. Doctor's expect that she'll pass the coin and be back to "normal" in 24-36 hours but advised us that we'd probably never see the penny again. (shucks.) Kate is disappointed, but the surgical staff at Memorial gave her a teddy bear complete with matching bracelet and hair mask appropriately named - you guessed it - Penny.

She gave us all quite a scare, however, she should be fine in a while. Hopefully this is the end of her coin-swallowing days.